A stupid week of stupid
Wow. This was a hell of a week for those of us who enjoy a good laugh at the expense of local elected officials and other public figures. At last count Worcester took exactly 32 baby steps backward this week, leaving us approximately in 1957. Good work Worcester!
Here’s the highlight reel:
Billy and Babs Up in Smoke
The Wheeler & Woolsey of the Worcester Temperance Movement, Billy Breault and Barbara Haller saw by far the most action this week. Not ones to settle with forcing a private business to pay police to patrol public ways the pair found the time to draft a letter to a whole bunch of local officials regarding the use of Narcan to keep people alive. The letter is ultimately an exercise in patience. If you could imagine an early alchemist attempting to debate a modern day theoretical physicist in the basic principals of the universe; thats essentially what this letter is. Two people so completely ignorant of the world they live in you almost have to begin questioning their sanity. Heres the letter for those interested parties.
Street meat forced to beat feet
The city council is working on some cockamamie plan to ban/limit food venders around the city. This may go down as both the silliest and eventually most anti-buisness decision to roll out of council chambers this year. The city is fortunate to have Councilors Rosen and Rushton challenging this matter, but the reality is they’re alone in their fight. The plan is nothing more than a way to get rid of a few problem entities without engaging in creative thought; something the administration seems to be finding difficult these days. The most interesting part of this plan is the way its being justified as protectionist, favoring established brick and mortar business. That really speaks volumes to the way our local leaders view our local restaurants. If Councilor Palmieri believes someone could be about to walk into the Chop House on Shrewsbury St only to divert to a water-dog cart and end up canceling their reservations… Well maybe local restauranteurs might want to ask Phil to stop doing them any favors, it doesn’t say much for your fillet. Mayor Lukes is even more illogical saying if we don’t do something we’ll end up with empty store fronts. Maybe Konnie is hanging out in different parts of town than me… BUT THE STOREFRONTS HAVE BEEN EMPTY FOR 20 FUCKING YEARS! And she thinks a fucking Super Pretzel is going to send everyone packing? Way to stay in touch with the city.
New recycling vendor will save the city money! Sweet!
No word on whether I’ll still be buying the most expensive trash bags on the planet based on the cost of the old vendor! Booo!
When is a band actually a band?
Although it was reported nowhere, I have it on good authority that the License Commission decided this past week that at least in the case of the Emerald Isle, an acoustic act that is run through an amplifier is no longer acoustic. No really, they said that.
The most expensive Mercedes in town
We’ll let poet laureate Billy Breault sum this debacle up.
“I hope you close him. I hope you keep him to two officers. I hope he goes out of business.”
Thanks Billy, keep it classy.
Stop having sex on my lawn
The Q. Never heard of it? Well, it’s a really neat little coffee shop where young people hang out. For us old kids in the room, think the Coffee Kingdom in the early ’90’s. Well the neighbors on chandler street don’t think it’s fun at all. We’re guessing they’re AARP members. If the license commission wanted to take a logical approach they would ask the police in attendance why there have been no arrests for public sex at the Q instead of just taking a neighbors word that it happened. The police claim “more than 50″ complaints. Well thats great, but how many arrests? These are old people, all they do is complain.
Papers please
Running a livery in Worcester just became an exercise in civil liberties. According to Worcester Magazine liveries now have a dress code: no swimwear, bathing suits, jogging shorts, or torn or ripped shorts. They can’t have external markings that would distinguish them from private vehicle (which is simply silly and to prove it I’m going hang a livery magnet on the door of my private vehicle and just not pick anyone up). They can only take payment by check, credit card or U.S. mail billing. Which is a direct attack at the poor in the city and before you call me on that name for me the bank anywhere in the Main South or Beacon Brightly districts issuing these credit cards and checks? I have three banks within a 5min walk of my house in tatnuck, there are no financial institutions in the areas serviced by these liveries. And the kicker…
All taxis and livery vehicles are subject to random spot checks at any time or location and taxi and livery drivers must all keep a daily log of all pickups; livery drivers only are required to note the name and number of all passengers. All logs must be kept for two years, and must be made available to any police officer upon request.
Thats the best excuse I’ve seen in years to get a professional set of fake papers. I think I’m going to go out this week and get me a nice Brazilian passport just for kicks.
Well. There’s a week in Worcester for you. A a semi related note. CVS has a sale this week on 4 packs of D-cell alkaline Batteries. Nothing tells a local official how you really feel, like throwing D-cell’s through the windows of City Hall while council is in session. Now I would never suggest that is the right thing to do… but we certainly are running out of things we CAN do, so don’t write it off just yet.
Struck Café down for the count
Not so quiet whispers of the Strucks shuttering have been circulating since around the New Year. Yesterdays T&G finally confirmed that the restaurant, long viewed as one of Worcesters most exclusive dining experiences, is no more. Seems that back taxes will go down as the death blow, with one of the owners Jeffrey Cotter of Auburn, listing the following in his personal bankruptcy filling.
$51,000 in payroll taxes owed to the federal government and $52,000 in meals and payroll taxes owed to the state Department of Revenue.
While the city mourns the loss of yet another local business, I would like to cut the line in pointing out that the Struck failed the moment they moved locations, the newer spot being mostly forgettable. Debt may have been the final nail in the proverbial coffin, but the food and service were never really that hot and those are qualities people tend to appreciate in a restaurant. So while we race and jump on one of two band wagons to point out that either:
a.) all business fail in Worcester
or
b.) Worcester doesn’t support good business
Sometimes it’s equally fun to pretend that many of the business we like to think are great, are actually quite terrible and deserve to go the way of the proverbial dodo.
But what do I know?
Blanchards 101
Diner food. Pretty good diner food served in an immaculately restored diner car on 322 Cambridge St. My son is an expert on diner car pancakes and gave the place a solid two thumbs up. They’re small thumbs but highly regarded in the Worcester diner car pancake community. Worcester needs more breakfast places. Adding Blanchards 101 to the list will do you no wrong. And when was the last time you had an excuse to go to Cambridge St for anything other than a funeral?
Gracie’s in Providence RI
I’m not actually going to ‘review’ Gracie’s in Providence, there is just no way I could do the restaurant justice. You’re just going to have to take my word that every aspect of the four hour, 7 course experience was perfect and if you’re within a days travel of the place you’re doing yourself an injustice if you have yet to go.
Of ice cream and assholes
Who doesn’t love ice cream? Well, besides vegans, the lactose intolerant and cranky people. Nobody, that’s who. So why is it, so many of the people at Worcesters annual ice cream festival on the common Saturday, were not easily recognizable as people at all? This is the sort of event business should shut down for, schools should close for (if we were to pretend that it wasn’t summer and school was in session on saturday, that is) and free shuttles should be moving bodies from every corner of the earth, for. It’s fucking ice cream folks! Instead, a large part of the crowd seemed to be made up of exactly who you would expect to find relaxing the common on any given saturday, folks who woke up shit faced and cats who you might be concerned about contracting hepatitis from. Now, that’s not to say the only people there were derelicts; plenty of families, kids, younger types and general ice cream fans were out in force, but if there was not a douche-bag convention being held in Worcester this weekend color me shocked. How does this happen?
Well let me tell you how this happens. Worcester is still marketing itself like a beat up, run down town. There was a great editorial in WoMag a few weeks back, the first great editorial WoMag has run in some time, which basically made the point that we should hold off pushing our wares on the outside world while we’re still heavily in ‘transition’; but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be selling the shit out of ourselves, to ourselves. The only reason I knew this event was going down at all was because someone on local message board made mention of it on Friday; this person just happens to work downtown so it was pretty hard for her not to notice. As for the rest of us, unless you’re part of whatever bizarre, provincial network exists to clue folks in to these things, you’re shit out of luck. Now, we do have an official marketing department in Worcester, they just don’t seem to have a clue as to how to get word out to the folks who actually want to partake in the cities offerings. One example, pick a city you like. Any city will do, just make it the kind of place where you go because stuff is likely to be happening. Now go to their website, chances are good without much effort you’ll be presented with a bunch of local goings on; in Worcester you get a handful of banged up slogans and an update on street sweeping. Of course you’re only two clicks away from buying tickets to our arena football team, the SURGE, which shares the unfortunate name of the single most unpopular military build-up in American history. Did someone say something about marketing? Right.
I’m sure someone is out there yelling at their monitor about now telling me how wrong I am, that it’s my responsibility to know what’s up, not the cities job to inform me; well try this hat on for size. There is one and only one way to judge the success of a supposedly well marketed and attended public event in Worcester, especially during a particularly tough election year, and that’s by the number of elected officials and their wanna-be successors in the crowd. In the two hours I spent on the common today, not a single candidate for local office was openly making the rounds. These are people who can turn a funeral into successful face time and this was an event purportedly directed towards families who are the likeliest of targets in a budget crunch year. If you can’t make enough noise while promoting your event to ensure a Gary Rosen comb in every hand in attendance, you failed. Hard.
Worcester in general and Children’s Friend in particular, can fuck up Ice Cream. A previously unknown phenomenon. Pete, maybe next year WhizSpark can give them a hand?
Black Krim Tomato Seedlings
I just realized how long it’s been since I’ve posted anything here. What better way to get back into the swing of things than with an offer of free stuff?
I have about a dozen, healthy Black Krim Tomato seedlings that are not going to fit in my garden. If you want them, get in touch and you can pick them up at my place.
UPDATE: Well that was quick. the Tomatoes are gone, but stay tuned and I’ll have some nice Georgia Flame peppers to hand out soon.
Four hours three dinners
Last night was the Worcester’s Best Chef competition at Union Station and we headed down expecting a typical mediocre crowd for a Sunday in Worcester.
Holy shit.
What we found was reminiscent of a sale on rakes at Spags circa 1978. There had to be 1500+ packed into the main hall at Union Station, shoulder to shoulder on the verge of fisticuffs over deliciousness. If that sounds negative, trust me it’s not the intention. This event was promoted so well, through a number of channels, any frustration lies with Worcesterites who are still learning how to operate in a crowd. I think we need a class, maybe Tim Cooney can set something up through the Central Massachusetts Safety Council, to teach defensive walking. We’ll build an obstacle course on the common and take turns navigating crowded walkways with over-poured drink in hand. And Tim can roll cardboard cutouts of aloof pedestrians in-front of us. Those who fail the course loose the right to operate their feet in public. Since this obviously genius safety plan is still in the works and out of fear that celebrity judge Mark Atlas would start a stampede if he did his thing, we bailed early.
Still hungry and slightly traumatized, we shot over to Coral Seafood to polish off the night. No such luck. Beautiful decor; quite possibly the most difficult exchange with wait-staff ever. I’ll leave it there as I’m feeling unusually generous today.
Now at the point of starvation we roll down to Bocado. As expected, fucking great. Food was great. Service was great. Decor? yup, great. Wine flights should be mandatory for all restaurants. I’m certainly not qualified as a food critic, so I’ll save you the punishment of a review. Just assume I’m right and the Block5/Bocado guys are some of a handful in Worcester who know what great service is.
The good Dr. makes it big
I just noticed that Worcester’s own Dr Gonzo had his world famous peppermash reviewed by the online bible of all things hot and delicious, The Hot Sauce Blog. There was a time in my life, not too long ago, that I helped devour this stuff by the case load. Seriously, these are some of the best condiments available to those of us who prefer our taste buds well done.
As seems to be the case with every Worcester success, somehow Ralph’s Chadwick Square Diner figures into the story.
How was the product first introduced to vendors and the public?
We gave away the Mustards, Salsas and PEPPERMASH for holiday and special occasions to friends, family and whomever liked it with no intention of going into business. But then, in the summer of 2001, the PEPPERMASH showed up at Ralph’s Chadwick Square Diner (in my opinion, home of Worcester’s best burgers) as a special. Our good friends Pat and Brenda of Piggy Pat’s South Carolina BBQ of New Hartford, NY started serving it on a pulled pork sandwich with good results. At that point we realized that we had a product that folks really liked. Legally we could not continue to produce the product in our kitchen any longer and
therefore, started to look into developing a business plan and seeking a co-packer to produce our product.
That’s all I can stands, and I can’t stands no more!
This whole Shrewsbury St ‘early to bed, early to rise’ debacle has my brain hurting. The hills are alive with the sound of bitching and its really starting to get obnoxious. Here’s the deal folks; the Shrewsbury St neighborhood association is simply trying to force the cities hand in coming up with a reasonable solution to parking in their neck of the woods. An excellent goal, unfortunately in this case it’s an excellent goal being horribly executed by all parties involved. Residents of Shrewsbury St should be pissed by the parking in the area, its miserable. But solutions are out there; like mine which I will now condense down to something so small and palatable that nobody can argue with its amazing shiny genius.
City sponsored valet for everyone.
Take all our larger existing municipal lots, start building them up like we did with the garage on Worcester Center Boulevard and offer valet service starting at 5pm on Shrewsbury St, Green St, Water St and the North end of Main St. You’ll feel pretty slick tossing the keys of your ‘93 Corolla to some 19yo college student, your car disappears and the streets stay clear. Still with me? Good. Because this is where it gets great. Since your car is being handled by the same valet service regardless of where you stop, it doesn’t matter where it goes, which means it doesn’t matter where you go. See where this is headed? So you stop off on Shrewsbury St for dinner on a Friday night, hand off your car to the valet and hit your destination. At around 10:30pm Gary Vecchio kicks down the door of the restaurant with a broom in his hands demanding that you get off his lawn. So you break for the door and decide you don’t care what Peter Luke’s says, you’re not going to bed yet. So you hop a cab that just happens to be idling like it was waiting for you and head down to Green St. After a few drinks at the Dive Bar you walk down to the Lucky Dog to take in some local sounds. Once you get caught staring at the bartenders enormous breasts, you decide its time to find somewhere to polish off the night so you hop another cab, strangely this one also seemed to know you were coming, and you shoot off to Irish Times for last call. As 1:30 rolls around the big Cro-Magnon looking guy at the door approaches and you figure you’re luck has run out. But instead of picking you up and throwing you at the new court house, he asks you if he can get your valet. But wait, you gave up your keys on Shrewsbury St. “Fear not citizen” the Neanderthal says, “in Worcester it doesn’t matter where you begin or end your night, we just love the fact you patronize our businesses. So we’ll bring your car to you, right here on North Main. Its not brain surgery to figure out citizen, and imagine what those water burning cretins in Providence will think!”
Ok so now that the underlying problem is solved lets look at one of the more foolish byproducts of not just dealing with this issue in the first place. This gem turned up in the editorial section of today’s T&G:
In the Shrewsbury Street neighborhood, residents in recent months have complained about noise and other problems when some restaurants finish their day job — serving food — and essentially turn into nightclubs. In the past, similar problems have arisen in other parts of the city.
In dealing with neighborhood issues, it can be hard to draw the line fairly for all parties — businesses and customers, on the one hand, and residents trying for safe roads and a good night’s sleep on the other. But when a line is drawn, businesses must hold up their end of the bargain.
The problem with this line of thought is it ignores the systems already in place to curb excessive noise and drunkenness. We have a very proactive set of noise ordinances in the city and if the neighborhood has legitimate concerns regarding volume then we need to act upon that. Whether its straight pipes on a motorcycle or 50 cent blaring from a Celica it can all be controlled via existing city ordinance and has no bearing on the sale of pasta, which as we know is a pretty quiet food. And on a similar note if there is an issue with drunkards running wild on the Shrew then we need to get Jamie Binenda down there and let him do his thing. I’m sure he would be happy to straighten things out on that front and it will impact exactly zero of the legitimate libation sales in Worcester.
We don’t need new laws, new rules or even exceptions to the rules to make the Big Woo an even greater city. Just a level playing field, top notch service from both the city and its business’ and a whole lot of support from our residents to keep the momentum building.
Review: Opia 1541
It’s not too often that I review restaurants, mainly because I prefer a five dollar pizza over fine cuisine most nights. But every once in awhile the urge strikes and I just need a tender slab of red meat to soothe the Neanderthal in me. When that urge hits I have no problem paying for it, nor do I have a problem picking apart the people who provide my fix. In this case Opia 1541 in Worcester, MA.
I’m going to begin with the ending because it’s the basis of this particular review and although I have no problem paying for anything, there is a breaking point in my wallet where service and presentation become equal partners to the food.
That said,
Party of two, before tip: $97.65
Read more
