A stupid week of stupid
Wow. This was a hell of a week for those of us who enjoy a good laugh at the expense of local elected officials and other public figures. At last count Worcester took exactly 32 baby steps backward this week, leaving us approximately in 1957. Good work Worcester!
Here’s the highlight reel:
Billy and Babs Up in Smoke
The Wheeler & Woolsey of the Worcester Temperance Movement, Billy Breault and Barbara Haller saw by far the most action this week. Not ones to settle with forcing a private business to pay police to patrol public ways the pair found the time to draft a letter to a whole bunch of local officials regarding the use of Narcan to keep people alive. The letter is ultimately an exercise in patience. If you could imagine an early alchemist attempting to debate a modern day theoretical physicist in the basic principals of the universe; thats essentially what this letter is. Two people so completely ignorant of the world they live in you almost have to begin questioning their sanity. Heres the letter for those interested parties.
Street meat forced to beat feet
The city council is working on some cockamamie plan to ban/limit food venders around the city. This may go down as both the silliest and eventually most anti-buisness decision to roll out of council chambers this year. The city is fortunate to have Councilors Rosen and Rushton challenging this matter, but the reality is they’re alone in their fight. The plan is nothing more than a way to get rid of a few problem entities without engaging in creative thought; something the administration seems to be finding difficult these days. The most interesting part of this plan is the way its being justified as protectionist, favoring established brick and mortar business. That really speaks volumes to the way our local leaders view our local restaurants. If Councilor Palmieri believes someone could be about to walk into the Chop House on Shrewsbury St only to divert to a water-dog cart and end up canceling their reservations… Well maybe local restauranteurs might want to ask Phil to stop doing them any favors, it doesn’t say much for your fillet. Mayor Lukes is even more illogical saying if we don’t do something we’ll end up with empty store fronts. Maybe Konnie is hanging out in different parts of town than me… BUT THE STOREFRONTS HAVE BEEN EMPTY FOR 20 FUCKING YEARS! And she thinks a fucking Super Pretzel is going to send everyone packing? Way to stay in touch with the city.
New recycling vendor will save the city money! Sweet!
No word on whether I’ll still be buying the most expensive trash bags on the planet based on the cost of the old vendor! Booo!
When is a band actually a band?
Although it was reported nowhere, I have it on good authority that the License Commission decided this past week that at least in the case of the Emerald Isle, an acoustic act that is run through an amplifier is no longer acoustic. No really, they said that.
The most expensive Mercedes in town
We’ll let poet laureate Billy Breault sum this debacle up.
“I hope you close him. I hope you keep him to two officers. I hope he goes out of business.”
Thanks Billy, keep it classy.
Stop having sex on my lawn
The Q. Never heard of it? Well, it’s a really neat little coffee shop where young people hang out. For us old kids in the room, think the Coffee Kingdom in the early ’90’s. Well the neighbors on chandler street don’t think it’s fun at all. We’re guessing they’re AARP members. If the license commission wanted to take a logical approach they would ask the police in attendance why there have been no arrests for public sex at the Q instead of just taking a neighbors word that it happened. The police claim “more than 50″ complaints. Well thats great, but how many arrests? These are old people, all they do is complain.
Papers please
Running a livery in Worcester just became an exercise in civil liberties. According to Worcester Magazine liveries now have a dress code: no swimwear, bathing suits, jogging shorts, or torn or ripped shorts. They can’t have external markings that would distinguish them from private vehicle (which is simply silly and to prove it I’m going hang a livery magnet on the door of my private vehicle and just not pick anyone up). They can only take payment by check, credit card or U.S. mail billing. Which is a direct attack at the poor in the city and before you call me on that name for me the bank anywhere in the Main South or Beacon Brightly districts issuing these credit cards and checks? I have three banks within a 5min walk of my house in tatnuck, there are no financial institutions in the areas serviced by these liveries. And the kicker…
All taxis and livery vehicles are subject to random spot checks at any time or location and taxi and livery drivers must all keep a daily log of all pickups; livery drivers only are required to note the name and number of all passengers. All logs must be kept for two years, and must be made available to any police officer upon request.
Thats the best excuse I’ve seen in years to get a professional set of fake papers. I think I’m going to go out this week and get me a nice Brazilian passport just for kicks.
Well. There’s a week in Worcester for you. A a semi related note. CVS has a sale this week on 4 packs of D-cell alkaline Batteries. Nothing tells a local official how you really feel, like throwing D-cell’s through the windows of City Hall while council is in session. Now I would never suggest that is the right thing to do… but we certainly are running out of things we CAN do, so don’t write it off just yet.
Hello…is this thing on?
This past Friday there was an article in the Worcester Telegram and Gazette which discussed the issues three city councilors ( Petty, Rosen and Toomey) charged with the City Council Public Service and Transportation Committee would like to tackle over the next year. It was interesting for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is their plan to introduce the idea of hiring a full time transportation planner to the city administration; which should be a no brainer for any community larger than an Amish township. But what really struck me was this statement from Councilor Petty:
Among the responsibilities of the transportation planner would be to help bring about more commuter rail and intercity bus service to Worcester, as well as working with the Worcester Regional Transit Authority and the local cab industry on addressing issues associated with the services they provide.
Those of you who actually pay attention to this drivel I write may remember reading something similar here, or in Worcester Magazine where that post was republished as an op-ed a week or so later. Now I would never be so bold as to assume someone is actually paying attention to me, but if you are, right on Joe! I received a lot of negative feedback from folks after WoMag ran that piece, from cab drivers and would be customers alike for a variety of reasons I felt comfortable ignoring. But its great to see the Council is concerned with staying ahead of the curve instead of waiting for the curve to keep curving and eventually kick them in the ass. However, there is a slight problem with the Committees stated goals, freshman councilor Toomey is quoted in the article as saying…
If we can find a way to make it easier for college students to get downtown, it could impact the types of businesses we are able to attract there,”
Uh, yea. Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. Maybe you’ve heard the old saying ‘…putting the cart before the horse’? Loading up every college student onto mass transit and shuttling them downtown is the easy part. But when they get down there and find absolutely zero to do, they won’t be going back. We have some spectacular commercial real estate that has been sitting vacant for years. Property perfectly suited for cafes, bookstores, music stores and nightlife. You know, the stuff college kids are actually into. Providing buses and cabs downtown so college students can stand around on the common waiting for something, ANYTHING to happen is silly. What we need to do, is partner up with property owners in the area and work with them to attract meaningful business and then start bringing people down there; which would have the horse placed appropriately in FRONT of the cart.
A little aside to help tie this together.
This past weekend I was out with three couples for a birthday. We started off for dinner at TiNovo, which was quite possibly the most amazing thing I have experienced in Worcester since the first time I got drunk at Logan field back in ‘91. After dinner we headed down to Irish Times on North Main for a drink and then shot over to Club Blue on lower Pleasant St for a few more, sealing the night down at the Dive bar on Green St. If you’re familiar with the venues I just listed, you know they are all within a half mile of one another. A few city blocks at most. Six people, in two cars, driving around like fools to cover a distance that would be an easy walk if not for the stiletto heels (I wasn’t in heals). Why did we drive? Because it’s what we’re trained to do in Worcester and there were no cabs to hail. But here’s the thing, there were people in my party that had we taken a cab, would’ve been noticed taking a cab. When people notice new behaviors they start to get deprogrammed and as new behaviors become more regular, more people start to pick up those behaviors themselves.
What does that little rant have to do with anything? Councilors Petty, Toomey and Rosen don’t need to tell college students to start taking cabs and buses, they need to start using them themselves, everywhere they go, no exceptions. And when they do, people will notice and they will start considering the option for themselves. Especially Petty, the guys like 18 feet tall, everyone within three blocks will notice. Once a momentum starts to build and demand increases, then we can start addressing any service issues which may come into play.
TiNovo’s location on Pearl St is very significant in that it helps bring together the rather fractioned night spots throughout the city. From north Main to Green Island to Shrewsbury St we’re only talking a short distance which seems like miles due to the vacuum in between. The Pearl St location helps build up the existing lower Pleasant St destinations and makes things seem just a bit closer. It also serves as a great platform to show would be business owners the potential that exists in the Downtown area for well run establishments. If we can keep that kind of redevelopment going at the same time we ramp up the need for more transportation options then we can truly be comfortable inviting our students into the heart of the city to show them a good time. Bring on the cabs, hell bring back the rickshaws (said by some to have been invented in The Big Woo), but time it all appropriately, it could take years, but one misstep and city transportation will be worse off than when we started.
Dear Mr. O’Brien, please consider the above as my application for the position of Transportation Planner for the City of Worcester (I work cheaper than a Thai hooker).
