William Breault: Stupidest man in Worcester, part 3

In today’s T&G a story about the apparent success of the cities new Yellow Boxes for needle disposal. Billy, what do you have to say on the matter?

“I haven’t found an environmentally or socially conscious drug addict”

link
He’s making it too easy folks.

I tried finding people with either an environmental or social component to their fame, I’ll happily entertain criticisms or make adjustments to the list via comments. Why the T&G keeps printing his crap is beyond me but it really makes them appear lazy to anyone who made it through second grade.

Part 1
Part 2

July 8, 2008 | Filed Under Team Batshitinsane, The Big Woo, entertainment, massachusetts, politics | 6 Comments 

A stupid week of stupid

Wow. This was a hell of a week for those of us who enjoy a good laugh at the expense of local elected officials and other public figures. At last count Worcester took exactly 32 baby steps backward this week, leaving us approximately in 1957. Good work Worcester!
Here’s the highlight reel:

Billy and Babs Up in Smoke
The Wheeler & Woolsey of the Worcester Temperance Movement, Billy Breault and Barbara Haller saw by far the most action this week. Not ones to settle with forcing a private business to pay police to patrol public ways the pair found the time to draft a letter to a whole bunch of local officials regarding the use of Narcan to keep people alive. The letter is ultimately an exercise in patience. If you could imagine an early alchemist attempting to debate a modern day theoretical physicist in the basic principals of the universe; thats essentially what this letter is. Two people so completely ignorant of the world they live in you almost have to begin questioning their sanity. Heres the letter for those interested parties.

Street meat forced to beat feet
The city council is working on some cockamamie plan to ban/limit food venders around the city. This may go down as both the silliest and eventually most anti-buisness decision to roll out of council chambers this year. The city is fortunate to have Councilors Rosen and Rushton challenging this matter, but the reality is they’re alone in their fight. The plan is nothing more than a way to get rid of a few problem entities without engaging in creative thought; something the administration seems to be finding difficult these days. The most interesting part of this plan is the way its being justified as protectionist, favoring established brick and mortar business. That really speaks volumes to the way our local leaders view our local restaurants. If Councilor Palmieri believes someone could be about to walk into the Chop House on Shrewsbury St only to divert to a water-dog cart and end up canceling their reservations… Well maybe local restauranteurs might want to ask Phil to stop doing them any favors, it doesn’t say much for your fillet. Mayor Lukes is even more illogical saying if we don’t do something we’ll end up with empty store fronts. Maybe Konnie is hanging out in different parts of town than me… BUT THE STOREFRONTS HAVE BEEN EMPTY FOR 20 FUCKING YEARS! And she thinks a fucking Super Pretzel is going to send everyone packing? Way to stay in touch with the city.

New recycling vendor will save the city money! Sweet!
No word on whether I’ll still be buying the most expensive trash bags on the planet based on the cost of the old vendor! Booo!

When is a band actually a band?
Although it was reported nowhere, I have it on good authority that the License Commission decided this past week that at least in the case of the Emerald Isle, an acoustic act that is run through an amplifier is no longer acoustic. No really, they said that.

The most expensive Mercedes in town
We’ll let poet laureate Billy Breault sum this debacle up.

“I hope you close him. I hope you keep him to two officers. I hope he goes out of business.”

Thanks Billy, keep it classy.

Stop having sex on my lawn
The Q. Never heard of it? Well, it’s a really neat little coffee shop where young people hang out. For us old kids in the room, think the Coffee Kingdom in the early ’90’s. Well the neighbors on chandler street don’t think it’s fun at all. We’re guessing they’re AARP members. If the license commission wanted to take a logical approach they would ask the police in attendance why there have been no arrests for public sex at the Q instead of just taking a neighbors word that it happened. The police claim “more than 50″ complaints. Well thats great, but how many arrests? These are old people, all they do is complain.

Papers please
Running a livery in Worcester just became an exercise in civil liberties. According to Worcester Magazine liveries now have a dress code: no swimwear, bathing suits, jogging shorts, or torn or ripped shorts. They can’t have external markings that would distinguish them from private vehicle (which is simply silly and to prove it I’m going hang a livery magnet on the door of my private vehicle and just not pick anyone up). They can only take payment by check, credit card or U.S. mail billing. Which is a direct attack at the poor in the city and before you call me on that name for me the bank anywhere in the Main South or Beacon Brightly districts issuing these credit cards and checks? I have three banks within a 5min walk of my house in tatnuck, there are no financial institutions in the areas serviced by these liveries. And the kicker…

All taxis and livery vehicles are subject to random spot checks at any time or location and taxi and livery drivers must all keep a daily log of all pickups; livery drivers only are required to note the name and number of all passengers. All logs must be kept for two years, and must be made available to any police officer upon request.

Thats the best excuse I’ve seen in years to get a professional set of fake papers. I think I’m going to go out this week and get me a nice Brazilian passport just for kicks.

Well. There’s a week in Worcester for you. A a semi related note. CVS has a sale this week on 4 packs of D-cell alkaline Batteries. Nothing tells a local official how you really feel, like throwing D-cell’s through the windows of City Hall while council is in session. Now I would never suggest that is the right thing to do… but we certainly are running out of things we CAN do, so don’t write it off just yet.

June 22, 2008 | Filed Under The Big Woo, entertainment, fashion, food, humor, massachusetts, newspapers, night life, politics, transit | 4 Comments 

Is Charter Communications violating MA state law?

Over the last few weeks on 508, Mike Benedetti and I have been discussing Charter Communications plans to begin monitoring customer web traffic to better target advertising. And examining the process used by the company they’ve contracted with on this, NebuAd, has raised more questions than it’s answered. After reading Ryan Singels take on the opt-out process over at WIREDs Threat Level, another question seems to be floating out there. Is any of this even legal? Now, Singel is talking about federal wiretap law, but for those of you who have been following this story on a local level here’s the language in the MGL regarding wire taps. I’d love to hear people’s thoughts as to how Charters plan would or would not be a violation of MGL Chapter 272: Section 99 which reads in part:

D. Exemptions.
1. Permitted interception of wire or oral communications.
It shall not be a violation of this section—
a. for an operator of a switchboard, or an officer, employee, or agent of any communication common carrier, whose facilities are used in the transmission of a wire communication, to intercept, disclose, or use that communication in the normal course of his employment while engaged in any activity which is a necessary incident to the rendition of service or to the protection of the rights or property of the carrier of such communication, or which is necessary to prevent the use of such facilities in violation of section fourteen A of chapter two hundred and sixty-nine of the general laws; provided, that said communication common carriers shall not utilize service observing or random monitoring except for mechanical or service quality control checks.

What am I missing here? Can an opt-out system that you can’t really opt out of satisfy that final clause? And can anyone recommend a solid high speed internet provider? I think it’s time for me to cut loose from Charter.

For those of you who haven’t been following this story (like the entirety of the Worcester media) and have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s a nice overview from the NYT.
link

May 29, 2008 | Filed Under 508, The Big Woo, economy, entertainment, massachusetts, media, tech | 2 Comments 

Artigo/Ajemian Films announce “We Got the Beat”Casting Call

Just recived this bit of news from our good friend Andrea Ajemian:

Artigo/Ajemian Films (www.aafilms.com) of Worcester, MA is seeking actors for their teen comedy, set in 1983, about the first ever boyband called “We Got the Beat,” shooting this summer in Worcester County. It stars Michael Copon (“One Tree Hill”) with 7-10 additional cast members from Hollywood. That leaves about 40 principal roles to be cast locally, including two members of the boyband/lead roles. (African American male 18-23 yrs. old, who can rap/breakdance, and Latino male, 18-23 yrs. old who can rap/sing/breakdance). We need all ethnic types, breakdancers, singers, actors . All speaking roles will be paid jobs. It will be a SAG film, so professional, union actors are encouraged to submit, however we also encourage people who aren’t professional actors. Send your photo, contact information, age, if under 18, and any experience (choir, stage, sports, public speaking) electronically to Barbara Guertin at WeGotTheBeatMovie@gmail.com. Electronic submissions are preferred but headshots and resumes may also be mailed to Attn. “We Got the Beat”, c/o Barbara Guertin, AA Films, 44 Portland Street, 4th Floor, Worcester, MA 01608. Auditions will be held in Worcester, and those chosen from submissions will be called directly. The production dates are Mondays – Fridays (five day work week), July 14 – August 16, 2008.

May 22, 2008 | Filed Under 508, economy, entertainment, media | 1 Comment 

Struck Café down for the count

Not so quiet whispers of the Strucks shuttering have been circulating since around the New Year. Yesterdays T&G finally confirmed that the restaurant, long viewed as one of Worcesters most exclusive dining experiences, is no more. Seems that back taxes will go down as the death blow, with one of the owners Jeffrey Cotter of Auburn, listing the following in his personal bankruptcy filling.

$51,000 in payroll taxes owed to the federal government and $52,000 in meals and payroll taxes owed to the state Department of Revenue.

While the city mourns the loss of yet another local business, I would like to cut the line in pointing out that the Struck failed the moment they moved locations, the newer spot being mostly forgettable. Debt may have been the final nail in the proverbial coffin, but the food and service were never really that hot and those are qualities people tend to appreciate in a restaurant. So while we race and jump on one of two band wagons to point out that either:
a.) all business fail in Worcester
or
b.) Worcester doesn’t support good business
Sometimes it’s equally fun to pretend that many of the business we like to think are great, are actually quite terrible and deserve to go the way of the proverbial dodo.
But what do I know?

link

February 23, 2008 | Filed Under The Big Woo, entertainment, food, massachusetts | 2 Comments 

The Wednesday short list of stupid

Half-Assed state agency websites
After reading today’s T&G story on the increase of local coyote sightings I figured I would wander over to the MA Department of Fish and Game website to do a little research on coyote population growth since the 1996 trapping ban in the state. Well as reality would have it that is impossible since the department website only lists three mammals as living in the state.
* White-tailed Deer
* Black Bear
* American Beaver
Of note; it would appear humans are no longer living in Massachusetts. Shame, they were an entertaining species.
link

Median family income
After being called out, repeatedly, for being misinformed about the cities median incomes, I’ve finally figured out why everyone believes me to be wrong… the city is making shit up. I’ve found at least two places where the city of Worcester is using what appears to be the county median family income instead of the city median family income without making that very clear. One is page two of this presentation which has us at $71,000. The other was in the cities most recent economic development email which lists the area median family income as $72,800. Both are about 20k over the actual city median family income. The key is the use of the word area in that last one. Since there is no such official number (the census bureau American community survey looks at city/county/state) it would seem that the city is cherry picking which towns they want to fold in to pad the city median. It’s important for anyone who actually takes Worcester’s future seriously to note that fudging reality doesn’t actually help us.

Adult zoning
Today’s T&G also has a story on reworking the cities adult zoning regulations. Debate over the merits of burlesque aside… does anyone ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, the reason why people always want to stick a strip club or porn theater into a city like Worcester is because there is a genuine market for such business? Just a thought.
link

January 16, 2008 | Filed Under 508, The Big Woo, entertainment, massachusetts, redevelopment | 8 Comments 

Irrational Public Radio

If you’re a fan of public radio and also happen to be a fan of parodies, the fine folks at Irrational Public Radio have just the thing for you. Former Worcesterite turned all around interesting actor/comedian type, Joe Smith was kind enough to turn me on to his latest project which is available in both album and podcast forms.
Good stuff.

link

December 24, 2007 | Filed Under entertainment | Leave a Comment 

The most secure marriage ever

Seriously, this is the only marriage that can not end badly.
link

November 19, 2007 | Filed Under entertainment | Leave a Comment 

Cromwell’s Irish Times

There are only a few places in Worcester where I just wont go. Then there are the places where I’ll go, but I wont like it no matter how hard you try and force me. We’re officially adding Irish Times to that second category. Sat night the lady and I went out to Boston and saw a group of crazy-badass Shaolin Monks perform at the Orpheum. On the way back we decided to stop at Irish Times. This never happens, I think I’ve been there four times in the last five years, but for some reason yet to be fully hashed out it happened this night. Walking up Main St it was impossible not to notice the crew of double sized humans employed by the place, going out of their way to mean mug all 150lbs of me as we approach the door. This is a great way to welcome people to you establishment. The only thing that could possible make someone feel more welcome is to frisk them after your ID is checked. No, seriously. At Irish Times in Worcester you get frisked walking through the door. When did people start smuggling hand grenades into Worcester bars? Whoever thought a pat down was the best way to welcome guests to your establishment is an idiot, really, fire that douche. The worst part wasn’t the frisking, it was the utterly terrible pat down that was troubling. If the most boring crowd in worcester really was sneaking cudgels, chains and pipe bombs in to see their favorite cover band, door-dude was not going to find them. With my arms raised in the air we made it clear there were no weapons in:

    1. my armpits
    2. my outside coat pockets
    3. my front pants pockets
    4. inside my tin of Altoids? Are you kidding?

No part of my body where I’ve actually carried a weapon was checked, so I’m not really sure what the point was. But I spent more time getting frisked than I spent inside the place. The best door-guys in the world are the types who know they can kill you but instead treat you like you’re something special; and to his credit the guy who picked through my Altoids seemed like a real nice guy. He looked like he was starting to crack a smile when I offered him one, at least. But these are your hosts, whatever wonderful product you claim to be selling is irrelevant if the tone has been set for your business by a pat down. And since the owner of the place was standing outside less than five feet away from me, clearly he knows what’s up and approves. Which probably explains why most people I know couldn’t be bothered with the place.

November 19, 2007 | Filed Under Team Batshitinsane, The Big Woo, entertainment | 13 Comments 

Hot Chicks with Douchebags

This goes immediately into the best of the web category.

hotchickswithdouchebags.com
Pictures of hot chicks with total and complete douchebags.
With commentary.

What can I possibly add to that simple yet elegant description? A sample, perhaps?

FIRE DOUCHE
db8161-743236.jpg
When attempting an upper level ‘bag hunt like the aristocrats used to do in England, to hunt the truly repugnant ‘bag/hott duality, there are some test cases worth avoiding entirely.

Beyond even helping through the benefits of the collective mock that we provide here at HCwDB on a daily basis.

Can’t help save ya, perky ski slope nose brunette hottie with ample bosom. Your proximity to Fire Douche means any attempted saving would result in my whiskers getting singed by the sheer force of uber-scrotology.

But the choke necklace is choice.

I’m sold. link

August 23, 2007 | Filed Under bestoftheweb, entertainment | 1 Comment 

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