A stupid week of stupid
Wow. This was a hell of a week for those of us who enjoy a good laugh at the expense of local elected officials and other public figures. At last count Worcester took exactly 32 baby steps backward this week, leaving us approximately in 1957. Good work Worcester!
Here’s the highlight reel:
Billy and Babs Up in Smoke
The Wheeler & Woolsey of the Worcester Temperance Movement, Billy Breault and Barbara Haller saw by far the most action this week. Not ones to settle with forcing a private business to pay police to patrol public ways the pair found the time to draft a letter to a whole bunch of local officials regarding the use of Narcan to keep people alive. The letter is ultimately an exercise in patience. If you could imagine an early alchemist attempting to debate a modern day theoretical physicist in the basic principals of the universe; thats essentially what this letter is. Two people so completely ignorant of the world they live in you almost have to begin questioning their sanity. Heres the letter for those interested parties.
Street meat forced to beat feet
The city council is working on some cockamamie plan to ban/limit food venders around the city. This may go down as both the silliest and eventually most anti-buisness decision to roll out of council chambers this year. The city is fortunate to have Councilors Rosen and Rushton challenging this matter, but the reality is they’re alone in their fight. The plan is nothing more than a way to get rid of a few problem entities without engaging in creative thought; something the administration seems to be finding difficult these days. The most interesting part of this plan is the way its being justified as protectionist, favoring established brick and mortar business. That really speaks volumes to the way our local leaders view our local restaurants. If Councilor Palmieri believes someone could be about to walk into the Chop House on Shrewsbury St only to divert to a water-dog cart and end up canceling their reservations… Well maybe local restauranteurs might want to ask Phil to stop doing them any favors, it doesn’t say much for your fillet. Mayor Lukes is even more illogical saying if we don’t do something we’ll end up with empty store fronts. Maybe Konnie is hanging out in different parts of town than me… BUT THE STOREFRONTS HAVE BEEN EMPTY FOR 20 FUCKING YEARS! And she thinks a fucking Super Pretzel is going to send everyone packing? Way to stay in touch with the city.
New recycling vendor will save the city money! Sweet!
No word on whether I’ll still be buying the most expensive trash bags on the planet based on the cost of the old vendor! Booo!
When is a band actually a band?
Although it was reported nowhere, I have it on good authority that the License Commission decided this past week that at least in the case of the Emerald Isle, an acoustic act that is run through an amplifier is no longer acoustic. No really, they said that.
The most expensive Mercedes in town
We’ll let poet laureate Billy Breault sum this debacle up.
“I hope you close him. I hope you keep him to two officers. I hope he goes out of business.”
Thanks Billy, keep it classy.
Stop having sex on my lawn
The Q. Never heard of it? Well, it’s a really neat little coffee shop where young people hang out. For us old kids in the room, think the Coffee Kingdom in the early ’90’s. Well the neighbors on chandler street don’t think it’s fun at all. We’re guessing they’re AARP members. If the license commission wanted to take a logical approach they would ask the police in attendance why there have been no arrests for public sex at the Q instead of just taking a neighbors word that it happened. The police claim “more than 50″ complaints. Well thats great, but how many arrests? These are old people, all they do is complain.
Papers please
Running a livery in Worcester just became an exercise in civil liberties. According to Worcester Magazine liveries now have a dress code: no swimwear, bathing suits, jogging shorts, or torn or ripped shorts. They can’t have external markings that would distinguish them from private vehicle (which is simply silly and to prove it I’m going hang a livery magnet on the door of my private vehicle and just not pick anyone up). They can only take payment by check, credit card or U.S. mail billing. Which is a direct attack at the poor in the city and before you call me on that name for me the bank anywhere in the Main South or Beacon Brightly districts issuing these credit cards and checks? I have three banks within a 5min walk of my house in tatnuck, there are no financial institutions in the areas serviced by these liveries. And the kicker…
All taxis and livery vehicles are subject to random spot checks at any time or location and taxi and livery drivers must all keep a daily log of all pickups; livery drivers only are required to note the name and number of all passengers. All logs must be kept for two years, and must be made available to any police officer upon request.
Thats the best excuse I’ve seen in years to get a professional set of fake papers. I think I’m going to go out this week and get me a nice Brazilian passport just for kicks.
Well. There’s a week in Worcester for you. A a semi related note. CVS has a sale this week on 4 packs of D-cell alkaline Batteries. Nothing tells a local official how you really feel, like throwing D-cell’s through the windows of City Hall while council is in session. Now I would never suggest that is the right thing to do… but we certainly are running out of things we CAN do, so don’t write it off just yet.
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Melican for mayor! Way to go dude!
Forget the batteries. I got a trunk full of bricks.
[...] Posted by “Brendan” on radioball.net [...]
[...] Looks like some new water colors are in order! I can only imagine this rendering from the official City Square website was created in error. To think Berkley Investments would suggest street vendors could actually play a role in the revitalization of Downtown Worcester. Who do these people think they are? Urban planners!?!! Look how smug that cartoon vendor lady looks as she steals business from legitimate brick and mortars! The nerve. [...]
“Wheeler & Woolsey of the Worcester Temperance Movement”?! WHAAA-OH!
[...] Here are a few of the individuals Mayor Lukes and Councilor Palmeri insist pose a serious threat to the city of Worcester. [...]
How the hell did I miss this post? Genius!
Street meat forced to beat feet…
When the ice rink on the common opens (saving downtown Worcester) and street vendors are illegal where will evening/night skaters get something warm to drink on cold winter nights? Everything downtown is locked up by 6PM. No vendors will mean less (no?) skaters.