Americas pastime, meet the Puritans.

So I’m going to be honest here, I find baseball to be pretty fucking boring. But I’ve never found it to be such a threat to good morals and decency that I would encourage the license division of the WPD to crack down on it.

In Worcester, police Lt. James J. Johnson, commander of the city’s Alcohol Enforcement Unit, said the Police Department is going to enforce the law that sets 8 a.m. as the earliest possible opening time. The lieutenant said bars are not allowed to open earlier even if they have no plans to serve alcohol until the allowed hour.
“We’re going to hold true to that, not to be a spoiler or anything,” said Lt. Johnson, who met with his staff today to discuss the situation.
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Meanwhile, 45 min East…

Fenway faithful expected to rise early for Sox opener

March 24, 2008 11:53 AM
By Globe Staff
Talk about your diehard fans. Some Red Sox supporters, hoping for yet another championship season, will be getting up before sunrise tomorrow to trek to Fenway-area bars to watch the Sox open their season more than a dozen time zones away in Japan.
“I think we’ll be pretty full, to be honest with you,” said Lindsay Curtis, a spokeswoman for the Game On! bar.
Curtis said the bar, which has a capacity of 500 people, has been getting numerous calls and e-mails from fans hoping it will be open.
The bar normally opens at 7 a.m. Tomorrow it will open at 5:30 a.m., so people can settle in for the game, which starts at 6:05 a.m.
At the Cask ‘n’ Flagon, assistant general manager Ron Abbott said he’s expecting 150 to 200 people when the bar opens at 5:30 a.m., several hours earlier than usual.
“I think we should actually have a pretty decent crowd,” he said.
Mayor’s spokeswoman Dot Joyce said the bars, which had received special permission to open early, were not allowed to sell alcohol until the game is over.
Abbott said he didn’t know how many people would be tempted to imbibe, rather than stick with their pre-work mugs of coffee.
But he said, “I definitely don’t see it being a productive workday in the city of Boston tomorrow.”
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This is what we refer to, in my line of work, as completely batshit fucking insane. Hopefully, now that the baseball scourge is conquered, we can start craking down on cooking Apple Pies out of season.

Post by: Brendan | March 24, 2008 | Filed Under 508, Team Batshitinsane, The Big Woo 

Comments

7 Responses to “Americas pastime, meet the Puritans.”

  1. Tom F. on March 24th, 2008 7:09 pm

    You find baseball boring? Finally, I’ve figured out what your major malfunction is!! Took me a while, but I always knew you were somehow cracked.
    Baseball is by far the most complex, interesting, and entertaining of the major sports.

  2. barry on March 25th, 2008 12:04 am

    Opening early is pretty common out here for Soccer and Rugby. At Britannia the bartenders need to be there to open between 4-5:30am on Saturday and Sunday for the Big matches. I go there for 9am on Sundays and there are frequently drunk Soccer hooligans singing their team songs.

  3. 4rilla on March 25th, 2008 7:10 am

    Does the WPD fear that bar patrons will revolt over a poorly brewed cup of coffee??

    How idiotic and small minded! I took today off special from work when opening day was announced like a die hard Sox Fan. I very way may have made my way down to The Banner this morning to take in the scene, heaven forbid if a bar were to make some extra $$$ on a Tuesday morning.

  4. J.D. on March 25th, 2008 9:32 pm

    How much you want for that Don Mattingly bat?

  5. Brendan on March 26th, 2008 9:48 am

    That’s not for baseball.

  6. J.D. on March 26th, 2008 1:26 pm

    I don’t want it for baseball.

  7. Gabe on March 28th, 2008 2:55 am

    Don’t you know that where ever there is alcohol there is a chance of the apocolypse? Jesus man, what the hell are we going to do if folks are in a bar room at 6:15am? I can’t believe what has becme of the world. Excuse me while I go pray and tend to my farm.



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