The hills are alive…with creepy old men

Tuesday being the absolutely beautiful day it was, the decision was made to bring the boy up to Green Hill Park and take a look at the little petting zoo/farm they have up there as well as put in some miles on the playground. The last time I was up there for any amount of time was 2002 or so when I partook in a regional disaster drill. My only memories of the petting zoo from my own childhood involve a hazy recollection of a buffalo who looked like he had taken at least as many small caliber rounds as 50 Cent. It was pretty grim, to say the least.

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve been that pleasantly surprised by a municipal offering. That little zoo, as limited as it is, may be one of the most well maintained animal prisons I’ve seen east of San Diego. Although the llamas look like they could stand a little dental work, but nobody’s perfect. This is in stark contrast to the Worcester Ecoterium which we took a stroll through last month and proved to be all sorts of sad, on so many levels. Busted up bald eagles stuffed into over sized parrot cages; they’re coming off the endangered species list this year folks, we don’t need to prolong the suffering of things we can eat. A few red foxes which were either rabid or hooked on smack, hard to tell in these parts. One lawn mower converted into a choo choo train, which just happened to break down on us. And of course the Ecotarium’s center piece, Kenda the polar bear. I hope to be wrong on this one kids, but Kenda looks insane in that little tank he calls home. Criminally insane. One of these winters during some blizzard of ‘78 style storm, Kenda is going to bust out of that polar pit of despair and eat east Worcester children for sport until going down in a hail of WPD gunfire. That bear doesn’t like Worcester in the same way Eugene Mirman doesn’t like Worcester. Except Eugene Mirman doesn’t have giant sharp teeth perfectly suited for eating toddlers. Watch out Worcester, Kenda has your number.

Back to the actual point here, Green Hill park is looking great. It’s come along way since it’s hunting preserve days in the early 1980’s. Except for one issue I thought went the way of the Paris Cinema. Can someone please tell me there is a non creepy reason why the parking lots were loaded with middle aged men either standing by their cars or driving from lot to lot over and over again? I mean really guys, this is Massafuckingchusetts, you can marry another dude in this state. Does cruising for gay sex in a public park really fit into modern life for anyone who is not a Republican law maker? Go home to your wives and kids, please. Or Providence, even. Just back off the playground a few yards. Worcester parks: Can’t drink in ‘em, but feel free to offer a stranger a handjob after a round of golf.