Newton tries to have a good time; fails

Just in case sheep buggery wasn’t enough convince you the Metro West tag is no good for Worcester, how does a crack fueled carrot sex toy party turned laptop larceny sound? Crime free Newton my ass.

Newton - A bizarre sexual rendezvous involving carrots and crack cocaine has led to three arrests.

Police charged three people Sunday with stealing a laptop computer from a Newton man as collateral for an insufficient check used for sexual purposes, according to court documents.

According to court documents, Newton resident Brendan O’Neill, 46, of 441 Lowell Ave., wanted to watch Carlton Haynes, 37, Alicia Culipher, 23, and Tara Bowers, 27, shower together in his home.

Bowers said that O’Neill tried “to involve carrots as a type of sex toy” during the episode, according to court documents.

And who uses a personal check to pay for hookers and crack? What do you put in the memo section? “hookers and crack”, I guess.

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