The Karaoke King
I’ve been asked to judge a karaoke competition tonight at Irish Times in Worcester. I never thought karaoke judge would find it’s way onto my resume and to be honest, I don’t know how I feel about it. But the company will be a good mix of local personalities including Linnea Sheldon, BoBo, Pete Caputa, Duncan Arsenault and Mike Capers (who has no website and is therefore dead to me). If you’ve been looking for an excuse to buy me a beer and take advantage of our recently liberalized boobie laws, stop by and make your self known.
That time of year again
No silly, not graduation time, it’s time for a bunch of old men and women to discuss where all our college graduates slither off to once their caps hit the ground. The T&G kicked off the ceremony today with their depressing count of just how many graduates plan to flee the area, a respectable 48%. Am I the only one who thinks its just a little funny when the same crowd who believes MySpace turns their daughters into whores (they already were), newspapers should be family oriented (your family is dysfunctional) and marijuana is a gateway drug (they learned it from watching you) tries to figure out what it is that recent college graduates want out of life?
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Drop the pasties citizen
So while sifting through the always fascinating Worcester city ordinances looking for shit just like this, I find a truly wonderful gem in the section regarding:
§ 5. Conduct and Attire in Places Licensed to Sell Alcoholic Beverages
Section b. states…
b) Except as otherwise authorized by law, it is forbidden to employ or permit any person including entertainers in or on licensed premises while unclothed or in such attire so as to expose to view or to display the naked aureola, pubic hair, the cleft of the buttocks, the anus, vulva or genitals.
The Strawman Cometh
This is where it starts to get fun; brother against brother, neighbor against neighbor, north vs south kind of fun. That’s right folks, as if we didn’t see this coming, more booze fueled news in today’s T&G! In this weeks episode we find three middle-aged schmucks from Marlboro arrested for drinking Coors Light in the Green Hill Park parking lot. The real crime, possession of Coors Light, is over looked in favor of the more fashionable charge of possession of an open container. Already the foes of public drinking (from this point forward to be known as ‘Team Batshitinsane’ are claiming these arrests are proof of how the city has no control over the golf course and therefore drinking can not be allowed. What in the name of Sam Adams are these people talking about? What school of broken logic did Team Batshitinsane graduate from? If anything this proves that people from Marlboro have shitty taste in beer. It also shows that each and every concern Team Batshitinsane holds is baseless if anytime they see questionable behavior they can just ring up the POPO and order will be restored in no time.
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If only we listened to Kyle Reese
The technology for remote-controlled light aircraft is now highly advanced, widely available — and, experts say, virtually unstoppable.
Happy Birthday Mike Leslie to open soon.
And it’s about time. What stands as the single most ridiculous retail business model in Worcester history is, as we type, being prepped for opening.
