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The Pandemics are coming! The Pandemics are coming!

Next person to use the word pandemic gets a brick to the face.
I hope none of you have canceled your holiday travel plans due to over use of fancy words. Heres a little secret, you are not going to die from bird flu this winter, or any other flu for that matter. You may get the sniffles and you may miss a day or two of work. But all things considered you’re still far more likely to contract herpes from one of the many area hookers who have not been identified by City Council Hopeful Hermis Yanis, as dead.
I managed to stay awake through Worcester News Tonights exhilarating coverage of the nonevent of the season, as presented by one woman news franchise/sex kitten ~~Jennifer Roy~~ Julie Tremmel (hate when I do that, sorry Julie), only to find myself wondering just how many local officials actually know what the word pandemic means. What is clear is they love a catch phrase; especially one that comes with a built-in excuse to spend money!
Sleep well Worcester, remember to wear a condom when banging hookers and maybe rethink that weekend trip to Wrights Chicken Farm, no need to push the envelope.

Legal Disclaimer: my prediction that you will see spring only stands if you are not wicked old, wicked young, already dying of some bizarre illness contracted from an animal (i don’t want to know) or otherwise living with a compromised immune system. In which case you could be screwed. But you probably already knew that.