I just wanted to remind you all that tonight, Wed November 16th is VolcanoBoy.com’s screening of Robert Greenwald’s ‘Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price’ at Ralphs diner in Worcester MA. The response to the screening has been outstanding so far, with RSVP’s coming from all over the solar-system. Ralph’s booking manager and internationally renowned trapeze artist, Dicky “yes thats my real name” Cummings has secured THE PANDAS to follow the movie and I’m told that the Ralph’s Diner will be able to supply any and all libations necessary for you to tie on a mid week buzz.
If you weren’t planning on joining us already, I believe there were three of you in that category, nows the time to break dinner plans with your Grams and organize yourself a safe ride home. Or bring Granny along, hasnt it been too lang since shes had some fresh air? You know what, why don’t you just bring the whole damn family down?
Where else are you going to find a whole nights worth of top notch entertainment for a mere THREE AMERICAN DOLLARS? (Tijuana is not an acceptable answer for the purpose of this quiz)
See you tonight.
9pm
Well, there you have it. Another election season has come and gone. And what kind of damage did we do with our pitiful 20% voter turnout? Well lets take a look shall we…
We kept Tim Murray on board as our Mayor, no surprises there. But this is where it starts to get interesting for Tim, does he have what it takes to pull a statewide vote for Lt Governor? Beats me. But I will say this, it couldn’t hurt the Murray camp to take on a very, very strong image consultant. My advice: suits and hair Tim, suits and hair.
One surprise, for me anyways, was that Konnie Luke’s managed to pull a second place finish in the Mayoral race, which will be very interesting to watch should Tim step down for a full time Lt Governors race. Who exactly is voting for this old curmudgeon is beyond me, I’m guessing Martians. I just hope she doesn’t let the second place finish go to her head. She’s batty enough with out a god complex.
My buddy Juan Gomez got bumped from his at large seat, which is a shame if you ask me. I think Juan spent too much time focused on the minority vote, which obviously has the ability to alienate the majority vote. Seems so simple when you turn it into a play on words. But really, what can one expect to accomplish by dividing a city based on race? If you can’t traverse traditional racial boundaries with ease in 2005, well maybe politics isn’t the place to be.
A real surprise was Gary Rosen winning back the at large seat he lost in ‘97. Gary’s a great guy, but always strikes me as a bit old school. You know; shaking hands, kissing babies and, uh… oh wait, thats it. So, yea. Lets try and make things a little more interesting this time, ok Gary? Maybe you could rugby tackle Konnie the night they swear you in. I got a Franklin with your name on it if you do pal.
Dennis Irish is no longer with us as councilor at large. Oh no, he didn’t die. But then again he didn’t exactly bring life to the council chambers. Not a surprise, also not worth much more explanation.
Former School Committee member Kate Toomey grabbed an at large seat which seemed to surprise many, with the amount of leg work she had done to get that School Committee seat I’m not surprised at all. She made herself a familiar name and it stuck. I have no idea what she stands for, but apparently that doesn’t mean much anymore.
The big shock on the City Council side of things was Joffrey Smiths win over incumbent Tom White in district one. I would be surprised to see if he cast a ballot for himself in yesterdays election as it would be the first time he’d have voted in ANY city election. Joff isn’t just a newcomer to politics, he’s a newcomer to the process. Good thing they have poll workers to show you how it’s done, huh Joff? I remember the first time I voted, only difference is I was there because I cared not because I was running. Maybe thats what we need to get a higher voter turnout in the city? We’ll just put EVERYBODY on the ballot. Good luck district one, you’re going to need it.
The contest everyone seemed to be waiting on was the district two race between incumbent Phil Palmieri and Local Labor shill Candy Carlson. Candy lost, wanna know why? Because less than 16% of the American workforce is represented by Labor Unions today. And the rest of us are dealing with the same rising costs of health care, condoms and malt liquor too. Saying your down with the workers just doesn’t cut it anymore Candy, because the other 84% of the labor force knows you don’t mean us. That said, Phil I demand you stop acting like a crazy person immediately. You turned this race into a scene from the X-Files that hit the cutting room floor. Shape up or your getting the ol’ RadioBall bitch slap.
The only other win worth mentioning, from my humble perspective, was the open School Committee seat won by John Monfredo. All you frat boys out there should take note of this one. Just because you are accused of sexual assault, over and over and over again, does not mean a political future is out of the question. Keep the faith. But now that John is in, we REALLY need a scandal from him as his wife Anne-Marie is a Tammy Faye moment just waiting to happen.
Oh! and just in case you were wondering, Bill Colman lost something. And no Rosalie you horrid, disgusting, vile wench not because he’s black but because he stands for nothing beyond painting fences and keeping me from using surplus American flags to heat my house this winter. Sorry Bill, but maybe it’s time to rethink this whole politician thing?
November 9, 2005 | Filed Under
The Big Woo,
politics |
7 Comments Next person to use the word pandemic gets a brick to the face.
I hope none of you have canceled your holiday travel plans due to over use of fancy words. Heres a little secret, you are not going to die from bird flu this winter, or any other flu for that matter. You may get the sniffles and you may miss a day or two of work. But all things considered you’re still far more likely to contract herpes from one of the many area hookers who have not been identified by City Council Hopeful Hermis Yanis, as dead.
I managed to stay awake through Worcester News Tonights exhilarating coverage of the nonevent of the season, as presented by one woman news franchise/sex kitten Jennifer Roy Julie Tremmel (hate when I do that, sorry Julie), only to find myself wondering just how many local officials actually know what the word pandemic means. What is clear is they love a catch phrase; especially one that comes with a built-in excuse to spend money!
Sleep well Worcester, remember to wear a condom when banging hookers and maybe rethink that weekend trip to Wrights Chicken Farm, no need to push the envelope.
Legal Disclaimer: my prediction that you will see spring only stands if you are not wicked old, wicked young, already dying of some bizarre illness contracted from an animal (i don’t want to know) or otherwise living with a compromised immune system. In which case you could be screwed. But you probably already knew that.
Since what is supposed to be an election in my part of the world is beginning to put me to sleep, I figured I would turn you on to one of the hopefuls in this years NYC Mayoral election.
Meet Jimmy McMillan, of the ‘RENT Is Too Damn High’ party.
Pretty self explanatory platform. There had been something about Jews keeping the rent high involved earlier, but apparently Mr McMillan had a change of heart because thats been pulled off the site.
Maybe what Worcester needs is a ‘RENT Is Too Damn High’ party, minus the underlying hatred of Jews of course.
link
November 2, 2005 | Filed Under
everything else,
humor,
politics |
1 Comment
